Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Nomads and Cat Poop

Done with Politics for awhile...

I'm writing this from bed. My wife is next to me and sick. My dog, who thinks she's people, is between us with her head on the pillow. She's waiting anxiously for me to go to sleep so she can end her night time vigil and drift off into the arms of sleep. She's inspiring me to write this, but I don't want to keep her up.

I've been much like a nomad for most of my life. I didn't plan on it; it just happened that way. I don't think it was ever intentional from my parents perspective either; it just happened that way. Not long after I was born, my parents began planning their move from the dangerous San Francisco Bay Area to the quiet sylvan setting of Edmonton, Kentucky. I have been told that I was supposed to start school in Kentucky, which explains the pictures of our house being built before I was in Kindergarten, but a series of events and epiphanies predicted a different future for me. The youth that followed led me from:

Ellerhorst Elementary K-4
Shannon Elemtary 4-5
Pinole Middle School 6
Pinole Junior High School 7
we moved to Kentucky at Christmas
Edmonton Elementary 7-8
Metcalfe County High School 9-12

Now I understand that a lot of people have moved around a lot more and this isn't some "woe is me" type deal, I'm just illustrating my life. After High School, I started College:

Centre College 1997-2001 and then lived and taught as a substitute teacher in Danville, Ky for the next school year.

After that, I moved to Louisiana (long story) for a year and then back to Bowling Green, Ky in order to finish Grad school, which I started at Southeastern Louisiana University.

The ebb and tide of these moves between schools, towns and states essentially left me with series of friendships that lasted for a few years and then disappeared completely. Sure, there are a few people from each time period I still talk to and some that are still my best friends, but by and large, the nomad aspect of my life has prevented me from keeping a lot of friends close to me.

That longing for the closeness of a friend's compassion or ever open ear has been best filled by my pets. Now here's the part where I should tell you some heroic story of an endlessly loyal and devoted dog or something like the preface to "Marley & Me". Of course, I don't have a story of growing up with a dog like this. I do, however, have a story.

I didn't really have pets until I got out of college. Sure, my family had pets--loads of them. Just, none of them were really mine. I can remember a steadily revolving cast of characters from the time I was born and continuing on to this day at my parents' dog rescue operation. We had little inside dogs, big inside dogs, outside dogs, inside cats, outside cats, a chicken, a goat, a couple of pot bellied pigs, we even had some possums that used to come eat cat food. My Dad was able to develop a friendship with the younger possums and pick them up. Of course his reward was a tooth-bearing hiss, but that's about as close as a man can get to a possum without getting rabies.

I was once given a dog. Now, I'm not the kind to turn down a gift, but back then, I'd always wanted a kitten. Plus, the puppy was intended for and rejected by my Grandmother. I got the second chance at her. I was thrilled, but the first night she tried to sleep in my bed, she must've had fleas and I got really itchy and complained. So, they took her away from me and she became my Mom's dog. Which was fine, she was a wonderful friend to me, but she wasn't mine.

I got my kitten wish when one wandered into my Dad's business. He brought her home and she was promptly backed over (on accident). A few months later, the same scenario developed and this one didn't meet an untimely death. However, she was pregnant and moody. The resulting kittens, I was told, would be mine. Of course she was a little bit feral and had them out in the wild. After weeks of searching, she must've had buyer's remorse and led me to them (two hissing monsters of pain) and said, "Have it at, boy, I'm outta here!" One stayed wild, the other met the fan belt of our car.

During college, I had the chance to have an illegal cat in my dorm room. The cat was pretty much a wild cat, not suited for indoor living. He stayed under the bed all year, only coming out to poop and annoy. On the way to take him back to my parents house, he jumped out the window (which I'd rolled down after he dumped in the backseat) and disappeared into the woods.

After college, I got two cats. Both as kittens. I had my wish. Well, as soon as I got my wish, these "naturals" at house training taught each other to use the corner instead of the litter box. At first, the used the box. Later, they started having occasional misses. They made the move from Danville to Louisiana to Bowling Green with me. When I moved back in with my parents for two months before getting a house, they were stuck in one room, only to be let out at night when the dogs were in bed with my parents. After I got my house, the shenanigans started. Pardon my language, but I called this, the "Kitty Bullshit Era" of my life. There were no other words...

It started with a miss here and a miss there. Eventually, they were pooping on the side of the litterbox. Soon, they were pooping next to the litterbox. It was comical to see their little scratch marks on the carpet where they'd tried to "cover up". It wasn't long before I would return home each day to poop on the carpet nowhere near the box. The cute little claw marks were gone as they were now blatantly pooping with reckless abandon on the floor. I became nervous and made sure to sleep with my mouth closed. I had to try to make them outside cats. They took to this well, but my neighborhood was very unwelcoming as the cats were blamed for a random assortment of problems. First, they were "making a dog bark" and soon after they were conjuring the Devil in the woods with Tituba, dancing naked and eating chicken blood. I had to find them new homes and label them as outside cats. Fortunately, I found a home for both of them together. I will never own another cat.

However, my kitten dreams had turned to nightmares, but a year or so before I moved to Louisiana, a very special dog came into my life. His story is the one I will tell, but that will have to wait until tomorrow as the snores in my ears tell me my dog has given up her vigil and gone to sleep.

Until then,

Seymour

Monday, February 2, 2009

Representation...

So, I stumbled onto the idea I had been searching for 'round about bedtime, so I held the thought. Anyway, I thought more about it today and here's what I came up with:

Back in the day, there was business going on in the American Colonies that really got the goat of many colonists. It was called, "Taxation without representation". The gist of the problem was that they were being taxed and didn't have any say in it. Well, the end result of that business was the American Revolution and the whole "democracy" thing. So the solution to the problem was the House and the Senate.

So, the idea behind all of this was that Congress, because they get elected by their constituents, would represent their constituents. Well, I don't know what it was like back in the day when everything started, but it seems like we've run into some problems with this because of the extreme two party system we are suffering from.

Now, like I mentioned before, Johnny McCongress decides he was to be a US Representative and figures, "Hmmm...how can I get elected?" He looks at his choices and sees that most Congressmen are members of either the Democratic or Republican Party. So, he makes a judgement call and says, "Well, Democrats sure seem to popular these days," so he joins up. He gets some backing and sure enough, he pulls it out in a 51 to 49 percent squeaker. So, now Johnny McC is headed to Washington to represent the Fightin' 33rd or wherever...right?

Well, here's the problem. Johnny McC owes his victory to whom?

A) his 51% that voted him in
B) The Fightin' 33rd
C) The Democratic Party

The answer is quite obviously C. The Party provided the backing that got him the exposure that led to his win.

Johnny is supposed to represent which of the following?

A) his 51%
B) The Fightin' 33rd
C) The Democratic Party

The answer here is quite simple B. As the representative of the Fightin' 33rd, he is supposed represent the Fightin' 33rd.

But, who does he represent?

A) his 51%
B) The Fightin' 33rd
C) The Democratic Party

More than likely, he will represent C, but to a lesser extent, he will represent A.

So, if you were able to follow my little quiz, the problem is quite simply that the Party's interests get represented while the needs of the district go largely unnoticed. Rep. Johnny owes the Party his seat, and hey, his term is only two years, he may get beat out, so he won't get any real responsibility. He will regularly be Majority Whipped into following party lines. He'll have to do this until he's been around at least 3 or 4 terms so they know he has staying power and then he can get some responsibility. By then, his endentured servitude to the Party has turned into a Slavery of sorts. His first responsibility? Probably whipping the newbies into party line.

So, what has happened to the Fightin' 33rd's needs? Nothing really, except they've started seen Rep. McC on the TV and he gives the appearance of being responsible, so they keep him around.

So now, the problem is pretty clear, right? We aren't really being represented by our elected representatives. They aren't being held accountable by their constituents...mainly because their only other choice is generally a polar opposite.

Now, I'm not picking on the Democrats, they just seem to be getting elected more these days.

So, how do we fix this? I think the Thought Party should do something about this, but what? How do we fix accountability when the only way to punish the offender is to vote in a member of the other party who will have the same loyalties to his/her respective party?

We are being taxed without being represented, but it goes beyond taxes and into the realm of everything from what women can do with their bodies to when and where we send our soldiers to fight and die.

I'm out.

Seymour

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Thought Party

Really quick and to the point. I'm tired of the bi-partisan system in this country. I'm starting a new party based only on the fact that groupthink dominates Republicans and Democrats alike. The platform is simple, all you have to do is think for yourself. We are taught in this country that we have a right to choose our leaders, but we are really only given two serious choices. Perot was the last third party candidate who got a decent amount of votes on the national stage, which has been awhile.
Of course, I've had friends say, "Well, if you're tired of bi-partisanism, you can vote a third party." The problem is, voting for a member of a third party simply on the merit that they are a third party candidate is just the same as voting for a Republican because you are a Republican or voting for a Democrat because you are a Democrat.
So, being a member of the Thought Party means only that you can think for yourself. Aligning yourself as a Thoughtocrat only means that you base your choices on your own opinions and don't vote with a party. I know, I know, on my registration it says "Independent" and by definition that means the same as being a Thoughtocrat, but hear me out. Independents can vote however they want to based on whatever they want to, a Thoughtocrat has the responsibility to do their own research and see how each candidate lines up with their own thoughts and beliefs. However, you must avoid the media at all costs! Look at voting records, not stump speeches. We all know that speeches are mostly lies anyway, designed to tell you what you want to hear. Votes don't lie.
"But," you may ask, "what about people without a voting record?" Well, it may be true that someone with no previous experience may not have a voting record, but then we get into whole, "Can't get a job 'cause I don't have a car and I can't get a car 'cause I don't have a job" problem. If someone has no voting record, look at their party affiliation, see what their party line says. Look at their work history, education and police record. A lawyer? Don't trust them! A lawyer with a criminal record? Don't trust them. Are they running for an office with political power? Don't trust them!

I don't know where this is going, but bear with me, creating a party takes time. We probably won't have any candidates for awhile, but it's something to start thinking about. Winning your district by 51% doesn't mean you should follow the party line, it means you should listen to your constituents. Remember...you represent the other 49%, too. Anyone running for office with the backing of the Thought Party must commit to representing all of their constituents. N

Now I'm on to something...I'll continue this later.

Seymour

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Grabbing the Air?

So, the more I've been thinking about it, the more I feel like this desire has put into some kind of state of desperation. Am I grabbing for things that aren't there? Am I reaching out for things that will give me recognition? I've recently been trying to get on with this very small scale and local e-zine. They wanted me for commentary, which I've done before and enjoyed, but I happened to have a story I'd just written (and was/am proud of) on the same topic. I submitted it and have yet to get a response. Was I jumping the gun? Probably...maybe I should just wait for a response and get my butt to commenting and wait it out until they need more from me.

At the same time, I had an old college acquaintance ask if anyone wanted to help him design a book. I jumped at the opportunity and soon realized that it had nothing to do with writing--it had more to do with layout. But I still offered my rudimentary skills. But...WHY? Why would I try to impose myself into that situation? I don't have an answer.

I'll say this. The best recognition I've ever gotten was when one of my students (I'm a teacher, by the way) gave me a note of recognition that the school has for students to give to teachers that have an impact on them. What it says wasn't that important, but what the student said to me when he gave it to me was great. He said, "You have just done a great job of making me feel comfortable and welcome in this school. You've helped me a lot and I just want you to know that I appreciate it." No one else saw this except for me, but it meant the world. So, do I need worldwide recognition? No, probably not. I guess I just want a pat on the back. I don't even think it's a selfish thing. I think I just want to know I'm doing a good job.

On a side note, my student was recently run out of the school by some angry redneck types because he was browner than they were. Guess all my work is easily reversed by roving gangs of angry morons.

Seymour

Friday, January 30, 2009

Gumption?

Why a boy with gumption, you may ask? It once occurred to me that all those kids in movies you used to watch when growing up (and I don't mean the animated Pixar stuff that is going on nowadays) always had a boy with gumption in them. You know, that enterprising youngster who could turn hard work into something grand? Or the one who was able to tackle responsibility with an adult-like knack for getting the job done? Perhaps you're more familiar with the honest boy who convinced his parents that he was trustworthy enough to stay out late? Maybe you don't remember them; they've mostly been replaced with pranksters and ne'er-do-wells who are able to get away with murder and come out looking squeaky clean.

Anyway, I always wondered what happened to those boys when they grew up. You see, I was one of those boys--I got great grades in school, I worked hard at extracurriculars, I had a wide toolset of skills and talents and went about my childhood putting them to work in a way that would set me up for the best possible outcome. I knew my liars and thieves and saw many of them live and die by the sword. Of course, I still see many of them succeeding as well.

However, as a boy with gumption, I knew I would be destined for something greater, right? I can't complain about my current state. I have a great job and make good money. I don't have too much debt. My credit rating is good. I have a house and an amazing wife. But as I near thirty years on Earth (and I swear I'm not freaking out about it or having a mid-life crisis or any weird decadephobia) I am starting to wonder what my legacy of greatness will be. Nothing seems to be standing out. I haven't done anything outrageously wonderful. I've created nothing, published nothing, destroyed nothing, accomplished nothing greater than avoiding infamy and am generally a ho-hum kind of guy. Of course, there's just this small part of me that feels like there is something I must accomplish--something I must do that will leave a mark.

But the motive behind it all is what bothers me the most. Why do I want to leave a mark? Is it pride? Do I want to accomplish something so I can run down the street screaming, "Look what I did! Look what I did!"? Am I more noble in this endeavor? Do I want to benefit mankind in some way? If so, how? I still have a wide skill set, but are any of my skills developed enough to actually accomplish something?

Regardless, there lies in me some kind of desire to achieve or at least to do something well. I hope to analyze this inner drive here and hope that someone finds it worthy of discussion. Feel free to bombard me with suggestions, praise or hatred.

Yours,

Seymour